Precocious perspective

Jealousy and for most people it is synonymous with

But is it so

For me jealousy is pettiness and your feeble projection of the world

Whereas envy is at the first the notice of other which can devolve into petty jealousy

Jealousy is for the weak minded or spirited and you will regularly meet or hear from people with this disease when you are a searcher of truth and a person 

who desires more and possibly for 

perfectionists also but please note perfectionism is a complex subject for another day

Especially in this month the month of resolutions and proposed new beginnings we see the open emergence of jealousy and envy

Where as one is immediately damaging the other has a great potential when harnessed

I have never been a jealous person begrudging others success or good fortune even when I might be the opposite 

But i have been envious

For me envy is noticing the object before the subject

For example a jealous person would possibly focus and direct their petty and low vibrational energy at a person they believe are winning in life 

But envy would focus on the aspect which is the object 

The winning in life or a holiday

Instead of being interested in being the person who is really irrelevant to your growth but can be the beacon or a lighthouse to your goals

But one focuses on ignoring and brushing over your failings 

And one can be used to address them 

For example

So you haven't been on holiday for awhile 

And someone else has 

Enviously you want what they have 

So why not go and get it 

But you have to address why you don't have what you could see 

Also to be jealous and judging someone without a window into there life is misguided 

Do you want to go through what they have

If you are jealous you know the answer 

Self and in high resolution

The self
What is it many ask
Debate and get into a philosophic
Twists over the question
From ponderings to postulations
It alludes some
Perhaps all on what it really is
And how might it be grasped and with which apparatus will it be able to be examined by
And put into the arena to evade scrutiny
And this is
The springboard wrestled with with the end of the Gregorian calendar
With resolution posted as the fireword for the foundation of our phoenix
And we come to the labelled new year
And we wrestle with our demons and we attempt to prop up our dreams so they might crawl and later fly
So perhaps at the annual firewood gathering we may have a shorter load
But never none
There is always a fear whilst as we dine digging our dentures into the finer delicacies of our selves amalgamated entanglement of dreams desires talents and ability we might end up with a mild dis ease being a stomach ache of narcissism
And exuding the odious aroma of pride
Falling into the well of which the myth which gave rise to the term narcissism
For might with all our might not find what is ourselves but expressions
And interpreters of the phenomena
For many believe animals have an easy rides
Except for become cuisine and perhaps living in battery farms
Of knowing if it can be said their vocation their talents and are uninhibited by concepts such as class race and finance
And how birds need no passports
And how herons need no fishing licence
And birds belong to the air
As fish to the sea
but where do we
And Resolution for me
Is rounded up solutions
Some of us are scared of what we might lose
Friends allies
Relationships
But think about the frog
It goes through a multifaceted set of changes
For you could stay at the egg stage and have those kind of views and freedoms
Or update it a little and have those kind of perspectives
Or become a frog where you can transverse water and sea
Which one would you want to be
And with that I will take my leave
To round up my own

philosophical anime aka Gyakkyou Burai Kaiji: Ultimate Survivor part 2

i did say this is the best anime i had seen
and we pick up after the boat incident
and he has incurred more debt via the interest on the borrowed money

and is now working in a convenience
store to pay of the debts

but is haunted by shadows and specter of debt collectors
coming to get him at any moment


he is visited by this man again but this time with a more humble approach
and will let him clear his current debt and maybe get more as with gamble of before

so kaiji goes to the location
and sees some of the people from the boat
and a guy from his convenience store
and the guy he saved

who is not a betrayer but extremely grateful to kaiji
for saving him and once again they do not know what the gamble is until the very last minute

they put in coffin like boxes and then transported
and then they are beset by their test
to walk across a thin beam
but they cannot touch it with their hands or instant disqualification
and with that they are told to start

they see how ludicrous this is
they are not playthings for the rich who are jeering them on from the sidelines
greyhounds to be bet on

but they are reminded that the fist one two across get 20 million and 10 million respectively
and with that one person sets off before kaiji
and then the others set of but before long a person falls off but the fall is not igh enough to kill them but is high enough to break bone and injure contestants upon falling

kaiji is gaining on the person ahead of him but cannot overtake him because the beam is to narrow
he is then notified
by the jeering bureaucrats and elite millionaires and heiress
to push
kaiji denies in the name of humanity
or his morality he will not push

put looking left he sees a person push crying whilst doing so and apologizing
and then it is repeated again

the kaiji is tempted to follow suit but refrains but sees the person behind ready to push him and he tries to reason the struggles with him then they both lose their balance and are disqualified

but would we have done a kaiji or pushed like the others
they are led into a holding room whilst waiting for the games
and with every passing game you saw an increase in the loss of humanity
for in the first group was 6 out of 10 survivors
then there was 5
then 4
then one

and then the twist they find out they are not getting the money unless they do one more gamble
for host rationals
they are freeloaders wasters
who have done nothing to be rewarded with such money
and that they should earn it

which ties in with wage slavery
that the only commodity some people have of value is their time
but for these people
their lives were currency

and the next gamble was worse than before
whereas previously the fall would injure them
this fall would kill them

but they embark after a rallying of the troops by kaiji
so they embark


with no safety net and the prize of 20 million yen at the end of this stretch

but this is when it gets crazy

they have even higher elites watching them this time and getting a kick out of seeing these people put themselves on the line

but that host thinks he is helping these people
for he calls them trash who have never followed through with anything in their lives
wasting away and wasting life
and they are in this cotton wool illusion

kind of like this bag of nuts contains nut situation
and some would say it is darwinistic
law of the jungle

but others may see it as he is trying to unlock inner potential
and them dying on this bridge is in a nobler fashion than it would be if they died in a gutter
or from alcohol poisoning
or drug addiction

they soon after seeing one person fall to their deaths

want to quit and ask for the electricity to be turned off
i forgot to mention that that was a deterrent for the contestants
to just hug the pole and shuffle along

the host retorts no
and that these people are quitters
always looking for the easy way out

and to back out of anything

and soon after the refusal
three are left
kaiji
the guy from his work place and the guy he saved

but here is where your heart strings or essence is tugged
for ishida the guy he saves knows he cannot go any further and will die

he offers kaiji his ticket so he can claim ishidas prize so as to bail his wife out of debt
and give her some happiness and peace he could not give her
since he has been a useless husband

and kaiji does not want to take it insisting that he is spouting nonsense but will make it
but then is persuaded to take it
kaiji carries on towards the goal
and after awhile turns round
and
finds ishida not behind  him
he had fallen

he had fallen silently
he had covered his mouth
so as not to make a peep as to not disturb kaiji
kaiji reflects on this as do i

for a man who was not strong enough to make it to the end
he
was more than brave enough
to quiet himself for kaiji
put others before himself
and become more than the alcoholic coward
in debt up to his eyeballs

it just had me ponder on the strength
it must take
for you to be at the precipice of oblivion
or forty story fall
and to put yourself after someone else
was touching


wow

and so kaiji and sahara his colleague

carry on sahara makes it to the end first and he he sees the people
the audience watching him
and kaiji feels something is wrong
and tells sahara not to go
sahara does not listen he opens the window and is blow back by the draft
to his death


now i am feeling like wow he got to the end and he was robbed but his death can save kaiji
who then sees that there is a path which seemed invisible before
is now visible a glass stair case suspended
and with a leap of faith kaiji gets to the top

but he still does not get the money on the grounds that he forfeited

Would you like silence with that part 2

so in the last post we talked about silence
and how our journeys are now havens
for creativity

and is the commodity we have previously given over
cheaply

and some of you may have pointed out that on the tube
or the train you see many people
reading
but yet to see a renaissance
with regards to it
for when it comes to reading there is
substance and the substance less

and is this making you think about your still time
the newspapers now it is your still time that is why their are stationed
before you enter the train
and then there are the remains on the train

so somebody is already investing in your stillness
but from that who is the real beneficiary
you or the papers
and the papers advertisers

now we enter the home
i know many people live in different
conditions
from spacious to the opposite
and from house or villa to flat or bed sit


but i fondly remember a room called the study
mine was not so illustrious
but it was our room of stillness
to do home work
meditate in a sense
and read
but even with the space many families do not have the luxury of the study room
and convert it into a bed room

some do not even have the luxury of space
but it is reminder that we may have the stillness outside
but we can re create it within also

for the silence within
is the most overlooked
from television
to games
and radio
our inner sanctum is
diminished
and even within
the television and radio
there are ads in the silence
such as when you are watching the football
or listening to your music

and many of you football watchers
will know that when half time comes
it is always followed by a car
and a alcohol ad
this is uk of course
in uae alcohol is not promoted on television

personally i have never been one for adverts
it is my silent time where
i occupy myself
sometimes so much
that i miss the start of second half

and for bible readers here is a story that ties in with this

1 Kings 19:11-13

but to combat the invasion of stillness

For in the stillness you can evaluate 

and re evaluate yourself

your wants your goals

your truths

and a chance to define who you are

for sometimes i see sad people who at ends with themselves

with another any other person

shying away from the private 

to dwell in the public sphere

for no sense of self

lastly
as well as the external creating havens for creativity
and defining ourselves
it is the re viewing of the commodity which our stillness
and how we view those who invade it

and how you protect something precious

inspiration for this piece
my protege
going through this herself

the artistic dreamer